25 Tips for Couples in Relationships

1. Build a friendship with your spouse, re-connect. Try to remember what drew you both together in the first place.

2. Conflict resolution- try to communicate without blaming, or harsh words. Listen to each others perspectives be open and accept your own part in the dispute.

3. Try to avoid fights by nipping things in the bud as they arise not let them fester and grow bigger. 

4. What to do after a fight- what is your pattern? Do you sulk, give each other the cold shoulder? Apologise and make up, or carry on as if nothing happened after some time apart? Explore what works for your relationship try talking about it when not in argument during a time of calm to decide what techniques work best.

5. Try to connect with your spouse emotionally and physically talk about happy memories and focus on hopes for the future. Show affection in gestures, through small gifts and kind words to one another and commit to fulfilling each others sexually. Share your likes and dislikes- get to know each other properly.

6. Remember men are more visually stimulated and women are more emotionally driven- this is not to say the opposite isn’t also true just bear this in mind. 

7. Reflect on what your actions are saying to your spouse- do they convey a sense of love, warmth, trust, respect? 

8. Learn to communicate effectively and How to listen actively- not just pay lip service. Listen to hear, not to respond.

9. Take into account all of the non-verbal communication going on between you. Body language, facial expression, positive or negative vibes. Address issues as they arise in a sensitive way.

10. Remember how important the role of humour is in a relationship and encourage this, laughing also releases feel good chemicals.

11. Remember the importance of spirituality in your marriage, do you both have the same faith, values, beliefs? Is that a source of conflict or peace in your relationship? Have an open discussion about this if its a problem.

12. Learn new ways to increase peace and cooperation in your marriage, let some things go, pick your battles and remember everybody is entitled to their own opinion. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree.

13. Accept that life is not all mapped out and both of you will have shortcomings and good points so tolerate the bad and celebrate the good. 

14. Continue in Self-development in every area of your life, dont stagnate. People change all the time so keep up with yourself.

15. Establish building strong self-esteem for yourself and your partner- support each others dreams.

16. Learn how to manage your emotions and share feelings so that you dont shut each other out and disconnect.

17. Establish trust and rebuild trust if broken- it takes time so exercise patience, caution and practice honesty.

18. Show and earn respect towards one another.

19. Learn how to cope with common conflicts about money- agree on if you both want a joint account or keep individual accounts to manage household finances. Money is one of the major causes of divorce so focus and discuss this early on in the relationship.

20. Learn to live and love with a higher purpose- ultimately the aim is to remain faithful and build a lasting relationship and family.

21. Bring out the best in your spouse- influence each other in positive ways and show appreciation for each others efforts.

22. Live up to your highest potential individually and together as a couple. Navigate as a team through life’s difficulties, share problem solving tasks.

23. Build your self-esteem and boost each others confidence with kind words, gestures and practical support.

24. Recognise and overcome your shortcomings- support your partner in doing the same. 

25. Improve your attitude and expectations about marriage- be realistic and contribute to the relationship fully. Mind over matter. A positive attitude can take you a long way in appreciating what you do have as opposed to focussing on what you dont.

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